08 September 2011

unknown dwarfs cut from the movie snow white (4)

Snuggly – When the original idea of basing a movie on the Grimm fairy tale Snow White was discussed it was Walt Disney’s vision to create the dwarf character Snuggly – so adorable and wonderful that boys and girls alike would beg their parents just to get a glimpse of him.  Or her.  It was never clear to either Disney or the rest of the cast whether Snuggly was male or female, but this universal attractiveness made him/her remarkably popular with the entire audience demographic.

Snuggly’s popularity was only surpassed by talent, and very early in the filming it became clear that Snuggly would eventually become a huge star.  Reports at the time described Snuggly’s performances as, “breathtaking”, “awe-inspiring”, “amazing”, and “life-changing.”  It seemed that nothing could keep Snuggly from becoming the most beloved movie actor/actress of all time.  Even the Catholic church heartily endorsed Snuggly despite his/her androgynous qualities, and pictures of Snuggly being hugged by Pope Pius graced the cover of Time and Life magazines.

But all that changed at the hands of the dwarf Cranky.  Fueled by methamphetamines, Cranky became so enraged at the accolades being heaped upon Snuggly that he conspired with the costume personnel to rig Snuggly’s trousers with break-away Alumo (an early aluminum version of Velcro).  During a pivotal scene Cranky pulled sharply on Snuggly’s pants with the intent of revealing Snuggly’s sex to all, thus destroying the magical spell of neutrality that Snuggly’s character represented.  Unfortunately, Alumo was still in it’s early development and it did not always release with reliability.  Instead, the pants held tight and Cranky’s tug served to pull Snuggly off-balance, causing him/her to fall into the orchestra pit and down the bell of the tuba.  Snuggly lodged tightly within the coils of the instrument just shy of the spit valve where he/she asphyxiated in a pool of the musician’s saliva before finally being extricated.

More than 150,000 people attended Snuggly’s funeral and he/she was eulogized by actors, heads of state, sports stars and a very tearful Snow White.  Snuggly was laid to rest with honors at Arlington National Cemetery.


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07 September 2011

unknown dwarfs cut from the movie Snow White (3)

Rheumy – The oldest of the dwarfs, Rheumy had difficulty standing for long periods of time and could only move very slowly.  If you look closely at some of his cut scenes it is possible to detect where the Disney artists skillfully painted over the walker he was forced to use.  It was one of the earliest examples of what would eventually become CGI and illustrates just how advanced the Disney studio was.  However, they were not nearly as forward-looking in their attitudes regarding senior citizens and providing working environments that accommodated their infirmities.  Were the picture to be made today, they would certainly have been in violation of several articles of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Most difficult for Rheumy was the underground trail that led from the main mine area back up to the surface.  With no compliant ramps or handrails for support, the arduous trek at the end of every day took a considerable toll on his health.  That, coupled with the requirement that he swing a 50-pound sledgehammer for up to 10 hours at a time most certainly spelled Rheumy's doom.  During the second month of filming he suffered a fatal heart attack and had to be removed from the mine by Dopey and Doc using only a bucket and ball-peen hammer.  While not listed in the credits, Rheumy actually appears in the film several times, being used as Snow White’s stand-in (lay-in?) for the scenes where she is asleep under the witch’s spell.  Because of Rheumy’s extinguished state heavy makeup was required.

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06 September 2011

unknown dwarfs cut from the movie Snow White (2)

Dreary – Without question the most tedious of the dwarfs, Dreary was said to be so mind-numbingly dull that the entire crew would at times nod off as he droned his lines.  Consequently most of his actual performances were never captured on film.  His story line revolved around performing the accounting duties for the dwarfs’ mining operation, but his tendency to carry a briefcase and wear ties was felt too unbelievable for a miner.  When the wardrobe assistants insisted that he dress like the rest of the miniature cast, he complained incessantly about how “his britches chafed without Egyptian silk underwear.”  He was said to have been the only friend of Cranky, the two getting along because Dreary was the lone individual who could put Cranky’s meth-addled brain to sleep.  Dreary’s part in the movie came to an end one afternoon when Walt Disney himself watched a rehearsal and remarked to the casting director, “Can’t you get rid of that guy?  He’s so fucking boring!”

Dreary never again worked in show business except as an understudy for Zeppo Marx in the movie Horse Feathers.  Realizing at once that Dreary was soporific enough to replace him permanently, Zeppo tricked him into substituting Groucho’s cubans with novelty exploding cigars. Groucho immediately had him blacklisted as a communist, effectively ending Dreary's acting career.  He lived out his final days as a speechwriter for President Coolidge.

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05 September 2011

unknown dwarfs cut from the movie Snow White


Cranky – While thought by many to have been a variation on Grumpy, the character of Cranky was not named because of his unpleasant disposition, although he certainly had that.  His name comes from his horrendous habit with methamphetamines, a practice that caused brutal behavior towards his fellow dwarfs and extreme difficulty in remembering his lines.  Along with his tendency to attack those around him, his overpowering body odor caused the other cast members to avoid him both on the set and off.  But being ignored by the others only made him more violent and he eventually killed one of the other dwarfs, the beloved Snuggly – who would have been the most popular of the dwarfs if he had survived.  Snuggly was replaced by Bashful, who never did reach the expected popularity of Snuggly’s rising star.  Cranky was not only edited out of the movie (including the pivotal rape scene), he was convicted of first degree murder and sent to Attica for 15 to life.  He died after 3 years in prison at the hands of a fellow inmate.


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